How Do I Know I Want To Be a Filmmaker?

When I was about 8 or 9 years old, a seed was planted.

In the summer of 2009, my mom was promoted from Captin to Major in the U.S. Army. A group of our family and friends came to celebrate. We had just moved to Virginia after my mom’s 6-month deployment, so some of our miscellaneous belongings were stuffed in the basement. While family members arrived, my best friend and I  had the grand idea to pretend to make a movie in the basement. I found my cheerleading bullhorn, my stepdad’s random director’s chair, sat facing my friend, and yelled “ACTION!” I smiled as my friend spun around singing. In that moment…I did not think I was going to a director, I still wanted to be a veterinarian, but I felt a tingle. I know it sounds like a dramatic joke but it’s true! The tingle just felt right.

Fast forward to some of the best gifts having divorced parents ever gave me; an iPad mini, an iPod touch, and a new baby brother to record. These things watered that seed that had been planted about two years prior. I would use iMovie templates to create trailers, fake news stories, and mock YouTube skits. After realizing the veterinarians had to help snakes too! I finally began my journey to become a director! I started writing a story in my journal, I watched videos on YouTube on how to make videos like my favorite YouTubers, and I made my directorial debut with an anti-bullying video for a class project.

Power Ranger Kyle- the iMovie trailer template that started it all.

Until… The hormones came in. On a random Tuesday when I was 13, I decided I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have the right materials, I was a black girl, and I didn’t think I was creative enough. I don’t blame 13-year-old Makiah, she was scared and there wasn’t a lot of evidence that she could do this.

Although it looks like I gave up, I never truly did. That tingle never left me. Every year in high school, I applied for my school’s TV production class and never got in. So I put all my creative energy into school video projects and PowerPoint.

Keeping Up with the Venetians- The intro of one of my favorite school video projects. It is a reality show parody of the Shakespeare play Othello.

Later I considered a film career again, but I realized that making money would be hard and “gave up” again. But the tingle never left, I would entertain the idea of becoming a personal trainer, physical therapist, or psychological therapist; but I would just make one movie as a side project. So I went to Barry University to major in Psychology, not even two weeks in…I decided that I was going to switch my major to Communications the next fall.

But I never made it to the next fall, well not successfully, due to a little bug called COVID-19. Like everyone else in the world, I began to have an extensional crisis. I hated online classes, I shaved my head, I broke up with my first boyfriend, I let go of my best friend at the time, but I got my first good job at the Cheesecake Factory. After my first extensional crisis, I had a second one. I failed some of my online classes causing my mom to cry, saved about $6,000, met my future roommates at the Cheesecake Factory, moved out of my parent’s house, and took a semester off.

This was a scary time. I didn’t know where to go next. By now I knew I wanted to do this. I was going to be a film director. But where do I start? After hours of research, I decided to apply to my local community college. This was the best decision of my life. I met so many wonderful and inspirational people. To think that I cried in the parking lot the first time I was going to meet an advisor. To everyone at Hillsborough Community College, Thank You! I know I was quiet and weird but I loved my experience.

So, How do I know I truly want to be a filmmaker? The tingle told me. It could have been God or an ancestor, I’m not sure. Either way, I listen to it. Even when I’m scared or doubt trying to creep up, I listen to the tingle. If I’m being honest, I don’t know if this is a career for me. It could just be a stepping stone to something else, but I don’t care. It feels good now. So if you don’t know what you want to do, follow your tingle. Even if you change your mind.